Today's Scriptures are Matthew 21:21-22 and James 4:1-3. I like to think I am a spiritual guy. Some people think that because I am a pastor I have a closer connection with God than most, like I am somehow better connected or something.
My secret is I kind of like that. But it is a lie. I am not any better connected than anyone. I struggle with my prayer life like most, maybe even more than most.
And the other problem is my motivation in prayer. When I pray, I am the centerpiece. I am what is most important. Me getting or having seems to be my main mantra. I like and I want therefore I pray.
I think that God hates that selfishness in me. I think He desires to wash that out of me. But I am like my dog Bessie...I don't want a bath. I enjoy the stinkiness of my own selfish heart...so I continue to pray selfish prayers where I am always prospering.
What if the best thing that could ever happen to me was that I would not get? What if it would be of great benefit for me to lose? Could I ask God to not let me have anymore?
Maybe I can start small. Just a today kind of prayer. I wonder if it would go better for me to have God get what He wants today instead of me. I think that's where I'll start.
"Lord, today your will first. Today, I want you to do and accomplish all that you need in me and through me before I do anything for me. Your will be done in me. In Jesus' Name."
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