Have you ever observed a parent that never let a child face the consequences of bad behavior? You can be absolutely sure of this, that child will grow into an immature and irresponsible adult. Our culture of entitlement has produced a spoiled generation of children who repeatedly have to be asked, “What do you say?” after receiving an expensive Christmas present. When you allow a child to go to jail and refuse to bail him or her out for driving one hundred miles an hour or doing drugs, that child learns to value a driver’s license or a safe environment.When we have vague expectations and choices without consequences it leads to confusion. We see this in other arenas in the world. Politicians face serious consequences with their constituents when they commit moral failure. Athletes who break the rules, throw temper tantrums, or use drugs are often required to sit out entire seasons.
Why would a parent not require the same of their children? It is not love to always be rescuing your child from his or her own consequences of bad choices or behavior. It is just the opposite, it is a lack of love.
Scripture teaches: A hot-tempered person must pay the penalty; rescue them, and you will have to do it again. (Proverbs 19:19, NIV)
Allowing consequences to occur sends a message to the soul of the one involved. You are letting them know that no matter the amount of maneuvering they may try, you are letting them face the music because you don’t want to have to go through this scenario ever again with them. You can love, support, empathize, assist, and encourage…but you will not rescue them from the consequences.
This is what God did with Adam and Eve. Their wrong choice brought them death (Genesis 2:17) and expulsion from the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:23). But even with the consequences of their behavior, God still showed them love and grace. He showed mercy to them by covering them with skins, but in no way did He change the consequences of their actions.
When you rescue your own child from a consequence that stemmed from a bad decision or behavior, you are interrupting the natural law of sowing and reaping. But the Bible is very clear that character change cannot occur without pain (Hebrews 12:11). A child who never feels the pain of wrong choices will repeat them every time.
Parenting isn’t easy. But the parent who doesn’t let their child face consequences is handicapping their child to a life of stunted maturity and constant frustration. But the parent who allows their child to face their own consequences will give them the best gift that can be given…love.
