This is based on a faulty understanding of the original language and how the word "divorce" is translated. The main passage applied on this is from Matthew 19:4-9. In this passage Jesus affirms first, and foremost, that marriage is between a male and a female. Even though this does need to be clarified in our current day, those who think it is hatred to preach such a message (that marriage is solely between a male and a female) hate Jesus because he is the one who preached this first.
Jesus continued with stressing that once a couple become one flesh then no one should separate that union because God is the One who has joined them together (vs. 6). The disciples then challenge this with the question, "Then why did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" (vs. 7)
That word translated "divorce" in verse 7 is the Greek word "APOSTASION". It is the word that refers to the legal process (where a written certificate is issued) of divorce. But it also refers to "sending her away." That is the Greek word "APOLUO". This is merely a physical separation. One mate leaves the other's presence for a period of time (or maybe for good).
As Jesus responds to this question by the disciples he does not use the word "APOSTASION" (the legal process of divorce where a certificate is issued) he refers to physical separation.
Look closely at verse 8. Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce (APOLUO) your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning."
The word is translated "divorce" in the English text (except the KJV does a very good job translating this "put away"). Remember, this is a physical separation.
Jesus is saying that because of man's hard heartedness, because of our sin, Moses permitted for couples to separate when issues arose that they believed were irreconcilable. But Jesus takes this permission to a new level.
This wasn't uncommon for Jesus. He defined adultery as more than simply having sex with someone other than your spouse. If a man looks at a woman lustfully then he has committed adultery with her in his heart.
Here Jesus gives a very high view of marriage, in my opinion. There is no problem, no issue, no circumstance that couples cannot work through with God's help. So look at what Jesus says in verse 9...
"I tell you that anyone who divorces (APOLUO) his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
Look at the word employed. He uses the word that refers to physical separation. Which makes perfect sense. If my wife separated from me and then she married another man, she would be committing adultery because she would still be legally married to me!
The goal of "APOLUO" is reconciliation. And the fact that Jesus says that the only reason a couple should separate is for marital unfaithfulness (the word is porneia in Greek which is adultery) means that Jesus believes in the permanency of the marriage covenant.
What could very well have happened in Jesus' day was that a legalistic Pharisee could "APOLUO" his wife but not necessarily go through the whole process of "APOSTASION". And then that same Pharisee could travel to another town and "marry" a prostitute and sleep with her. Then in the morning he would "APOLUO" the prostitute and go back to his home and take back his first wife. And he would feel proud that he never broke the law.
That is clearly wrong. Jesus made it abundantly clear that marriage is a permanent covenant between a man and a woman.
But we have preachers and teachers today who wrongly interpret this passage from Matthew 19 to state that the only way a person who has been divorced and remarried can right themselves with God is to leave their current spouse (and potential children) and go back to their first marriage.
It is a damnable doctrine in my opinion that only brings hurt and pain to those who have already been through the pain of divorce.
Let me state a couple of things VERY clearly. Divorce is not God's will. It is not His design. As Jesus teaches in Matthew 19, marriage is something that is to be permanent. It is something though, that God permitted under Moses due to man's sinfulness.
That hasn't changed. Divorces still occur. And in many churches, divorced Christians are treated like second-class Christians. This should not be. Divorce hurts people in a very real way. And the church needs to help people understand a Biblical view of marriage and the power of Yahweh Rapha (the God of healing).
There is so much more that can be said and written on this topic by men greater and smarter than myself. But I am convinced that we need to understand our Bibles better than we do. Because it is lack of understanding Scripture that only bring hurt into peoples lives.
I want to pay a note of respect and gratitude to my Uncle Scott Sheridan for his study on this topic.
