A Father to a little boy

I saw a picture of myself today. I wasn't thumbing through an old photo album or anything. I didn't physically see it. I saw it in my mind. I saw it in the way my son acts. I saw it in my own feelings.

The picture I see is not of a grown man full of confidence and courage. The picture is of an insecure little curly headed boy. A boy who desperately wanted affirmation.

That same boy...the one I see in my mind...he haunts me daily. Like I said, I see him in my sons actions from time to time. And then I want to run and affirm him so that he doesn't harbor any long-term feelings about himself.

But I also see that little boy at times when I am alone with my thoughts. And he scares me. That little boy, I think, needs something from me that I am not quite sure I know how to give it to him.

I want to be the best dad I can be and I want to be the best man I can be. Sometimes I am not sure I can do both at the same time.

I still have stuff that I wish I'd have dealt with when I was younger instead of carrying it along with me into adulthood. So now there are times when that picture of that little curly headed, insecure boy weighs so heavy on my heart in such a way that I feel like I am reliving those times in my childhood when I just wanted to crawl away and hide.

But grown men can't do that (I wouldn't look good crawling anyway). I keep affirming myself recently with the things I learned a few years back from Christ-Life Solutions...that who I am as a person isn't what others say about me...it isn't what I say about me, for that matter, either...but who I am is who God says I am. Period.

I am His child. I am His curly headed, insecure child.

I am the Dad to my boys now. But sometimes...in harder, quieter moments...I live with a deep regret that I never had a Dad. I was robbed of that.

So my heavenly Father has to pour out a little extra Fatherliness my way from time to time. Now is one of those times I need Him.

Boy like me/Man like You

Rich Mullins was a Christian musician who was tragically killed in a car accident a number of years ago. He wrote a song that I believe really had a great Christmas message to it. The song is called "Boy like me/Man like You". As we get ready for the upcoming Christmas season where we celebrate and remember the birth of our Lord Jesus, ponder the words of this great song by Rich Mullins...

You was a baby like I was once
You was cryin' in the early mornin'
You was born in a stable Lord
Reid Memorial is where I was born
They wrapped You in swaddling clothes
Me they dressed in baby blue

I was twelve years old in the meeting house
Listening to the old men pray
And I was tryin' hard to figure out
What it was that they was tryin' to say
There You were in the temple
They said You weren't old enough
To know the things You knew

Well, did You grow up hungry?
Did You grow up fast?
Did the little girls giggle when You walked past?
Did You wonder what it was
That made them laugh?

CHORUS
Did they tell You stories
'bout the saints of old?
Stories about their faith?
They say stories like that make a boy grow bold
Stories like that make a man walk straight

You was a boy like I was once
But was You a boy like me
Well, I grew up around Indiana
You grew up around Galilee
And if I ever really do grow up
Lord I want to grow up and be just like You

Did You wrestle with a dog and lick his nose?
Did You play beneath the spray
Of a water hose?
Did You ever make angels in the winter snow?

Did You ever get scared
Playing hide and seek?
Did You try not to cry
When You scraped Your knee?
Did You ever skip a rock across a quiet creek?

And I really may just grow up
And be like You someday

New Birth

This past Tuesday evening I was privileged with an experience that I have never had. I was able to baptize a gentleman who was born in 1917. That's right. He is 90 years old!

But he had been sprinkled as an infant and had been in a small group that had been studying material that covered Scriptural baptism. And during that small group study he had come to the conclusion that he needed to follow through with it himself.

The Bible does not support the idea of an unimmersed follower of Christ. And that thought compelled him to "cross the bridge" and be baptized.

I was really proud of his decision because there are more reasons to not do something like that than there are to do it. And yet, the reasons to be baptized may not be as many as the reasons not to be but they are certainly more significant.

And he did it. He did not let his age stop him. He did not let his health stop him either. I was very honored to participate in such a special night for this very nice man.

So, you don't know his name, you don't need to. But you do know how old he is. So remember him in your prayers. Say a prayer for a 90 year old babe in Christ.

Colors

I love fall. I love the colors on the trees. I love the coolness in the air. I love the fact that the leaves just blow everywhere. (I don't even mind cleaning the leaves out of my yard on a nice fall day!)

It really is a beautiful time of year. And it is amazing to me that the earth can be such a beautiful place. Iowa is a beautiful place. So is all of the earth.

Even with the fact that this planet has been forever marred by sin. Even understanding that everything is in this process of death and decay because of Adam's sin. Even though there are wars that rape and pillage the land. Even though some cities pollute the air and and seas. Even though our ozone layer has been apparently depleted...earth is still amazingly beautiful.

Psalm 57 says that God's glory is "over all the earth." The whole world and the heavens above still proclaim the awesomeness of God...even in it's fallen state.

And that gives me hope to know that even me, a sinner, someone who has been scarred and beaten up by my own selfish sinfulness...even I can be a beautiful thing for all to see God's glory through.

Even more amazing than the blazing colors of fall, God can use me, a broken, sinful man to display His wondrous works in a way that far out does any dapper Maple on a Fall day.

The Psalmist wrote:

You made him (man) a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet: all flocks and herds, and the beasts of the field, the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas. O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! (Psalm 8:5-9, NIV)

We, in our smallness, have been elevated by God to be used as a billboard to let everyone see how great our God really is. My favorite song we sing at church is "How Great Is Our God." He really is!